Original Air Date: April 23, 2008

When my parents divorced, we moved from LA to
Miami, to be near my grandparents. I was the new kid in school. I was bullied mercilessly. I came home with underwear over my head every day.

Bullying seems to be an all-time high. We read
of it as insoluble school problem. Teachers can’t stop it, principals can’t
stop it, and parents can’t seem to either.

New phenomenon becoming really big in the media
is how mean even girls have become to each other at school, bullying with harsh
words and exclusive cliques. So many new books, like “Queen Bees and
Wannabees,” detail how girls bully each other mercilessly.

Why are kids so mean to each other,
especially in modern times?

• Kids are more aggressive today, more belligerent. They ingest tons of violence on TV, video games.
• Marriages are weak today. A lot of fighting. Kids absorb the aggression.
• Kids are angrier today. They rage against the neglect, thunder against the indifference. As their parents ignore them more, they feel resentful. So they create victims upon whom to take out their aggression.
• Kids are being bullied by parents. Parents themselves are overworked and tired. So rather than inspiring their kids with heart-to-heart conversations, they bark orders at them, find constant criticism, and the child passes on the bullying.

• Ethics and morals should be introduced into schools. Curriculum should include inspirational teachings of good behavior and refined character. We must give kids lessons that help them become good people. Special emphasis should be placed on teachings about mutual respect, friendship, empathy, and the evils of bullying.
• Parents must reinforce the message by speaking to their children regularly about being gentle to others, conferring dignity on all, and never acting in an intimidating or bullying fashion. And parents must never bully their children at home. Talk to your kids. Punish them if you have to. But never bully them. 
• Schools must police bullies. Stiff penalties must be enforced to those who bully with repeat offenders being expelled from school. 
• Parents and teachers must propagate the message that if any child is being bullied to come and tell them, and report the bully, and there is no shame in it and you’re not a tattle-tale.

If a child is bullied how should they
respond? Don’t teach your
child to bully back or to fight. That just means that the bully has
corrupted them. Your child has demonstrated that he can be just as
intimidating, but in the process loses his innocence.
Yes, children have
to learn to stand up for themselves, but not by becoming as misguided
as the bully himself. Rather….

Standing up for
yourself means:

• Never show fear before the bully. Don’t respond to him but don’t run from him. Just go about your normal business as if he or she is not there.
• Make it clear to them that if they continue you will report them. When the bully says, “You’re a cry-baby and tattle-tale,” be firm. “I told you I am going to report you. I am not afraid of you and I don’t care what you say. I will make sure that your behavior is reported and that you are punished.” Say it firmly, look them squarely in the eye, and then….
• Go and report the bully. Go straight to the teacher, and better, to the principal. Go home and tell your parents. Make sure they follow up with calls to see if the bully was reprimanded.
• But make sure the child does the reporting so that the child learns not to fear. The parent should follow up, unless the child is too young, in which case the parent must protect their child.

“There is absolutely no place for bullying in our schools. Children must be taught to report a bully immediately and never to fear retaliation. Parents must teach their children to stand up to a bully but never to become, even to protect themselves. Principals and teachers who don’t take bullying seriously should be relieved of their duties.”