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Shmuley and Rick in a Public Discussion
Public Discussion between Rabbi Shmuley and Rick Sanchez regarding his firing from CNN after ...
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Shmuley and Rick in a Public Discussion
Shmuley and Rick in a Public Discussion
Public Discussion between Rabbi Shmuley and Rick Sanchez regarding his firing from CNN after comments made that were seen as offensive to the Jewish Community… The discussion takes place at the Carlebach Shul In NYC…
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Raising Spiritual Children
Raising Spiritual Children
Discussion between Rabbi Shmuley, rev. Charles Gilmore, and Felicia Stoler at West Side Presbyterian Church in Englewood, NJ.
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Larchmony NY Female Depression and its Cure
Larchmony NY Female Depression and its Cure
Lecture in Larchmont NY
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Spanking Your Children
Dear Rabbi Shmuley,
Please settle an argument that I
have been having with my husband. His
father was physically abusive with him, and so he vowed at an early age never
to lay a hand on his children. As luck
would have it, we now have the most energetic, rambunctious four-year-old East
of the
Fed Up in
Dear
The Talmud says that what prevented Joseph from sinning with Potiphar’s wife was the vision of his father that flashed before his eyes. Here he was, seventeen years old, at the height of his youthful passions, and a beautiful woman, Potiphera’s wife, threw herself at him; yet he resisted because his father was ‘with him’ in the room. No -one else could see him but Joseph, because his father had become the invisible voice of conscience that accompanied him everywhere.
How does a parent become that
voice of conscience? If we are too much
of a disciplinarian, or only use ‘the stick’, it may have an immediate result,
but the effect is ephemeral and external. We are not influencing the child
directly. There are many parents who make this mistake. They think that their
purpose is to use as much coercion and instill as much guilt as possible in
order to get their child to comply. But if you can have a dialogue with your
child from a very early age, you ensure that his mind absorbs your teaching
internally, so that it always stays with him. When you actively discipline your
child with the rod, then, yes, you have a certain power over him. But if you
speak constructively to a child, and treat him like an adult, you suddenly have
influence over him. Power is temporary and always invites a backlash. Influence
is eternal and invites no backlash because the child does not feel that he is
being forced to do anything. Rather, he feels that he is choosing of his own
accord to follow a given path.
So, while there is nothing wrong with hitting your child on the hand - indeed, some situations positively call for it - it is much more constructive to talk to his heart. Don’t assume that children are too young to understand. They understand a whole lot more than we give them credit for.
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Friday, December 09, 2011
peooclksecr
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